This thing still on?
* * *
Possibly as a follow-up to the dream in which I was forcibly recruited into an army fighting an intergalactic war -- I was in an army fighting an intergalactic war against some lizard-like aliens. Apparently we were losing, but this seemed odd to me, because I was armed with a machine gun and the lizards had no weapons at all. I ran around, took cover, and shot lizards efficiently -- they died after three or four bullets, with no blood, mess, or screaming as if it were a computer game. Then word came down that we were surrendering, so I shrugged and handed my gun to the nearest lizard, eager to see what would happen next. Oddly, I was taken into a classroom and given a seat in the back. A lizard teacher was giving a lecture to lizard students on a subject I felt curious about. However, I was also very tired and wanted to take a nap, so I asked the teacher -- "Excuse me, could you tell me why I'm here? Am I supposed to be learning something, or am I going to be an object lesson, or is this just a convenient place to put me for awhile? I just need to know if I should be paying attention." I woke up without getting an answer.
1) Stopped taking Wellbutrin, the replacement antidpressant -- Some improvement, in that 2-3 hours of sleep became 4 or 5.
2) Omega-3 -- Eliminated "brain buzz" but had no effect on insomnia.
3) L-theanine -- Made it worse.
4) Caffeine -- Reduction to 1/3 of normal intake had no effect.
5) Alcohol -- I don't normally drink. A single drink at 4 pm had no effect. Eliminating it had no effect.
6) Chamomile pills -- no effect.
7) Electrolyte pills -- Reduced restless leg syndrome, but no effect on insomnia.
8) Exercise -- I already get 45-60 minutes per day. Perhaps some variation in the routine or schedule?
9) Diet -- Unaware of what change might help.
10) Hot bath -- Made it worse.
11) Sex -- Slight improvement when combined with fatigue, but not a practical treatment.
12) Sleeping alone -- Some improvement, but not enough and causes other stresses.
13) Exhaustion -- Normal sleep occurs every 4-5 nights.
I do not want to take another prescription drug unless there is absolutely no other alternative. Does anyone have any suggestions before I give up and call the doctor who put me on #*@%ing Lexapro in the first place?
To give me all your love is all I ever asked
'Cause what you don't understand is
I'd catch a grenade for ya
Throw my hand on a blade for ya
I'd jump in front of a train for ya
You know I'd do anything for ya
I would go through all this pain
Take a bullet straight through my brain
Yes, I would die for you, baby
But you won't do the same
Compare with this heavily edited one by the Fabulous Thunderbirds:
I would walk two miles on my, hands and knees
ain't no doubt about it, baby, it's you I aim to please
I'd wrestle with a lion and a, grizzly bear
it's my life baby but, I don't care
for you baby I would, swim the sea
nothin' I'd do for you that's too, tough for me
I'd put out a burnin' building with a, shovel and dirt
and not even worry about, getting hurt
lain to buy my burnin' money, that I've earned
and not even worry about, gettin' burned
I'd climb the empire state, fight Mohamad Ali
just to have you baby, close to me
Yeah, so on one level, I'm responding to the pathos. But on another, I'm laughing my ass off. Because these guys never say, "I would have a long, honest conversation about our relationship for you." Instead, they are willing to do just about anything guaranteed to END the relationship. Seriously, guys? Who the hell asked you to kill yourself? And women, listen carefully: a guy who says any of this isn't saying how much he loves you, he's saying how much he wants out. But he wants it to be your fault because you didn't love him enough.
2) Cap -- you are standing on top of a speeding car, trying to stop the bad guy's plane before it takes off. The bad guy's plane has all of its propellers in back for some reason, probably for that cool Art Deco look. You have a virtually indestructible shield. The spinning propeller is RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU! The shield! The propeller! Right there! Jeez, do I have to spell it out?
3) Cap is sweet. I mean, totally, knock your socks off innocent and decent and moral and brave and compassionate and modest and self-sacrificing and -- and on and on. I can't wait to see how the chemistry works in the Avengers, with two blowhard egomaniacs (Iron Man and Thor) and one genuine hero.
4) Similarly, I hope, hope, hope that the movie shows poor Steve Rogers coping with the future shock.
4) BTW there was A WOMAN in the original Avengers, remember? Janet van Dyne, the Wasp? Okay, she was an annoying character. I think she was put in there to BE annoying and keep uppity wimmins from demanding female characters ("We HAVE one, see?") but at least she was there. Come on, people, this is the second decade of the new millennium!
1. What is your favorite thing about motherhood?
A) My kid. B) Finding out that MY mother wasn't omniscient. C) A sense that nothing I used to think was earth-shatteringly important really is.
2. What is the status of the book? What do you like best about it?
85% done. What I like best... it's pretty funny in places. I enjoy reading it.
3. Given that even before the budgets went fully to shit, the government seemed terrible about paying you... would you still recommend your job as passionately (although I acknowledge it is not a job most people would choose for the money)?
It is not a job most LAWYERS would choose for the money. I have yet to meet anyone without a degree who wouldn't kill for a job at home for the hourly amount I make. Right now, it isn't the money that's bothering me. It's the isolation, and the fact that my clients and I never win. It really saps my morale.
4. On the whole, have things in the United States changed for the better or the worse since your childhood? Why?
I was not capable of judging "things" in the United States when I was a child. The world was a much more wonderful, magical, hopeful place back then, but that was my perception, not any objective reality. I did, however, have the impression that liberals and conservatives were just as much at each others' throats then as they are now. I think there was a cooling-off period in the late 80s and 90s that everyone is now thinking of as "the good old days."
5. Should I read George R. R. Martin? If not, who should I read?
You should, then tell me if I should. :D
On the other, while I realize that giving him a trial would have been expensive, extremely difficult, and probably pointless, it was hypocritical and dangerous for Obama to say that "Justice has been done."
I have no doubt it was an assassination. It may have been necessary; it certainly was deserved, but it's not justice, it's retribution.